Fruitless Efforts
by leonebrion
Summary: After a terrible break up and intense reconsidering by a certain pine green haired girl, they met as lovers for the last time. Tags: Fluffy angst. Mature themes. Allen x Lenalee


A delicate, fair and soft skinned finger nudged at the pale boy's face gently, her finger going in to his cheek hastily before she pulled away. The pale boy looked at her startled by her actions, and the turning pale girl simply looked away altogether. Creating even more tension between the two. Frankly, the girl had done that out of an urge to ease their partial boredom and uneasement. She needed his attention for what was the entire, indefinite reason why she dragged him into the storage space in the first place. That got his attention but all she did with that opportunity was utter an awkward, "Sorry."

Then the tension got thicker.

And thicker as silent minutes went by with glances away from each other and towards each other, their eyes rarely meeting and when they did, the eye contact was short lived.

Lenalee Lee sighed, growing annoyed with their behaviour...

Their sorrowful now usual behaviour of the past few months.

The two abruptly started speaking simultaneously, "Listen, Allen, I've got to ask you something-"  
"Lenalee, if you're not going to tell me why-," and stopped just as quick as they immediately tried to comprehend what the other had previously said.

"Wait, what?" Spoke the two in unison once more.

"You go first," they both offered. "No, you."

_How annoying. _  
_How strange._

"Lenalee, I don't mean to be rude but if you dragged me in here for nothing then I'd really be on my way out..."

"Allen, please don't go!" She plead reaching out for him, sounding less dramatic in her head. "I wanted to talk to you about something. About something serious, about...us."

Allen, being on his way up from his warmed spot on the cold tiled floor and to the door, sat back down after immediately getting intrigued with her intentions.

The poor teenaged girl didn't know where to start, it was the complete reason why there was tension between the two prior to the cutting of it before. Albeit, she didn't need to talk. She didn't need to talk to him in the past for the expression on her face - on the both of theirs - was more than enough than what words could've done.

"Well, not really talk..." She said, before placing her soft lips on his.

A familiar touch. It was something they've gotten used to but felt new to yet again. It being so long before this moment, the spark being ignited between the two as they instinctively went deeper, closer to one another; tiny flames of their affection leaving aches on their skins and in their hearts as they touched more and more. It was something they've longed for for far, far too long, but had to forget about since their circumstances were oh-so-too very dire. Unfortunately dire. The familiarity leaving them as they pulled away from each other with a loud pop and a lack of oxygen.

Allen looked at Lenalee, and Lenalee looked at Allen with a desire for more of him. He wanted to give her more, but as hot as how he was feeling from that kiss, he couldn't help but ponder a burning question, "Why Lenalee? We broke it off for exactly this reason." His heart going pitter-pat unsurprisingly and stomach paining with butterflies in it like the small amount of bare skin she touched, even feeling the heat slightly through his clothes. He couldn't bare to lose her, he didn't like thinking this but, it'd be almost as painful as losing Mana. Despite... Furthermore, that's why he couldn't allow himself to get any closer to her.

In addition, her losing him would needlessly traumatise her. A trauma that he'd never wish upon her.

"I'm tired and sick of all this freaking tragic bull." She cursed, shocking him and herself. The young lady was distraught nonetheless. "Allen, I love you. I was afraid of what would happen if we continue with this relationship, so I went into denial for my feelings for you. All I want to do is hold you in my arms and make all your worries go away. But at the same time I feel as though I should cut off this connection we have together so I won't get hurt." Lenalee inhaled sharply. "It'd be the best thing for me at most though, cause I'm so selfish." Planitively, she started choking up. Taking affect on the boy before her with him holding her body up with his own. "I want to be with you so bad, and I know it pains you too that we aren't together no more which makes it harder for me and you to surpress our feelings but it's best for us both not to continue any further with this!" Lenalee cried, tears flowing down from her eyes now and cascading down her cheeks rapidly. Telling herself and him that hard, ever-so conflicting fact. All of her accumulated emotions - that she hasn't built up like so in years since becoming an exorcist - tumbled down like a rockslide, escaping through her hot tears and disgruntled words.

"I hate this! Sometimes I wish, sometimes I wish this was all a dream. Because, it very well feels like one." She said, clutching onto his shirt and sobbing. If this life was moving at an easier pace, maybe she could keep up, maybe she could catch up with _them._ Maybe, that constant urge to become stronger would deplenish, maybe then she could've done better by her world in the past. Maybe... No, Lenalee had to live in reality now. Reality was painful unfortunately.

Reality was acceptance.

Lenalee had accepted that she loved Allen, that didn't mean she had to act on her feelings. She had wanted to however, because reality was also desire. And reality sometimes disappeared as desire overtook, but eventually - unfortunately - came back after it up and went.

What Lenalee hoped to do right now was brought out by her desire.

Wiping her tears, she looked up to Allen to see him looking at her sympathetically, being pained himself at her solemn, tearful confession.

_I haven't been this openly distraught with someone since Head Nurse and the destruction of the Order, after when we came back from __Edo__, and that Ark..._ She admitted to herself, a wry smile on her lips.

The doleful girl sniffled, "Sometimes I wonder how much you underestimate how much I understand you. Maybe that's why you seem so discreet with me, although I still feel so warm with you when you treat me with the utmost respect." She giggled dryly at his confused expression. "You make up for your emotional distance with that charm of yours."

_I can see why though. I'm hopeless..._

"The reason why I'm not going anywhere anymore as of today is because I think I understand you, but not because you're apart of my world. The reason why I wasn't all too reluctant in breaking things off before was because of the fact that you're apart of my world. But I get you even better now, Allen. I want to be with you, but sadly, I know now's not the best time. Especially since everyone else that I care for need my protecting as well."

_Sometimes, I think there won't ever be a good time.__.._

"Wah, Lenalee. If you know now's not the best time for all this then why bring me here and k-kiss me? You're just making things harder for yourself." He relatively scolded, blushing.

"It's because it'd be even harder to not acknowledge what we have." Her cheeks flared pink at that. "We were hurting awfully, all because we're not dealing with this properly."

Lenalee huffed annoyed at the boy's seemingly dense expression. He really, really did in fact underestimate her and he may have not known it himself to some extent.

"With your issues in particular, your aggravating desire to save both humans and Akuma all because of that left eye of yours, also with your conflict with that Noah. How difficult it is for you to continue down the path you want for yourself because with everything that's happening just keeps getting more and more chaotic. I want to help, but I need you to open up to me more, there's just some things I just can't get on my own. I know you're not ready to do that though as there most likely isn't anything I can do besides care even more, you're not ready to do that with anyone as a matter of fact." She sighed, defeated with tears in her eyes. Them rolling down her cheeks as she closed them.

_Let me in, _she requested somberly. Sometimes she felt as though she was speaking to a concrete wall instead of a door. Thus feeling rather foolish. _You can't bare these burdens by yourself anymore._

He petted her pretty little raven locks, surprised at what he heard. She knew so much, yet so little of what truly was bothering him the most. To make matters worse, she somewhat too was at conflict with herself.

All because of him?

Allen couldn't put the burden on her of constantly worrying about him after completely opening up, he couldn't put it on anyone. Hell, he didn't even think they'd truly understand what he kept to himself. He was so used to handling everything on his own, he could not have depend on anyone. Could Lenalee...? No, she couldn't have. Besides that, he himself had to figure out some things for himself as well. After all, he handled his increasingly strong feelings for Lenalee as such he did with everything else until that day: when she had confessed surprisingly which also made him partly forget who he was supposed to be. It was an exceptional and sheer surprise. Even after him with no regrets calling her his "elder sister".

Essentially, she was, to everyone.

That abrupt confession from her was the only time he'd opened up to her about something he never thought he would ever admit to another. That confession was the beginning of something new for their relationship that no one in the Order ever crossed with their various relationships with Lenalee Lee.

"Lenalee, I love you too." The conflicted boy admitted reluctantly, seeing no point in denying it any longer. Most of the cards - most - were being shown on the table for the two as of now anyways. "So much so, that it hurts. But we can't anymore with this." His responses were so short and seemed so vague compared to hers, he felt hopeless for once.

"This is too...unhealthy to continue."

"I know. That's why we have this moment, and only this moment now," stated Lenalee, rendering Allen speechless.

He would've never thought that he would get another chance with her after hearing the news, deeming his fate, and mutually breaking up. He thought that their last disclosing and unsatisfying moment together was honestly going to be their last ever, and he told himself that he was going to be okay with that too. He would've never thought, so he was glad Lenalee did.

Unfortunately though, it was the beginning of the end for the two.

"I want to make love to you." Lenalee confessed, generally for the tenth time since her first about her emotions. Allen's eyes widening asking her "how reckless was she," and questioning why such a place as the dusty and cold Black Order storage closet. Then again, their first time together wasn't exactly the most romantic thing either.

With an acquiesce from Allen, Lenalee started with a passionate kiss on his lips then placing another and another all over the rest of his body. Coating him in damp, searing kisses that he wasn't sure he wanted to wash off afterwards. He let Lenalee take the lead, knowing how desperate she was for him to feel her love rather than her feeling his, as that was already prevalent enough. And after the exploring of each other that was enough to set off a fire, uncared for noises that were all too sure in getting the two caught, and almost obnoxious heavy breathing, they reached their ends and soon enough the two were climbing down from their highs.

They laid down upon the floor, half naked, partially sweaty and exhausted. Feeling absolutely content with their moment and possibly overwhelmed with the profoundness of it.

Lenalee turned herself over to face his tired frame and smiled cutely. Uttering an "I love you, Allen," before getting up to clean herself up and get dressed back up for the day.

Allen sat up, wanting to smile at her but for once couldn't bring himself to. It was all too sad. Seeing her full beauty for the last time. Seeing how she wouldn't see him entirely in what she thought was beautiful.

He was going to miss her.

"Lenalee, I..."

She turned around looking at him curiously, and all he saw was her gorgeous face that he wouldn't be able to touch, to kiss the same way in such a long time, possibly never again.

It tugged at his heart, and a blush of frustration appeared across his pale skin and he closed his eyes, breathing heavily.

This was a one time thing.

It was beautiful, and very much needed. It didn't make it any less painful however.

"Lenalee, I love you. I want to be with you too so we're going to have to get through this in a way, together. Even with our different paths..." Allen trailed off, knowing how likely their paths would exchange ways but wouldn't truly interlock in the end.

She nodded solemnly, tears trekking down as she closed her eyes, knelt down, and leaned in for a chaste kiss after a sharp sniffle. Afterwards, she pulled him up with her and helped him get cleaned up and dressed like herself.

"Well, I guess this is goodbye." He breathed painfully.

"Yes. For now." She reassured.

His head dipped low. "It hurts." He whispered to her truthfully, this being one of the most honest and open times he's been with her by far.

He felt her hands on his cheeks, raising his head up so that he could meet her eyes looking up to him. "I know, Allen. I love you, but..."

He understood, and she understood that he understood. That's why she didn't bother continuing.

They kissed for the last time, egging another one on as their faces kept inches apart momentarily, before they then parted ways from the once hot now cold again storage closet at different paces.

What was a dramatic exit for the two turned into an awkward one however when they both found out that they were called for missions along with Inspector Howard Link, Yuu Kanda, Noise Marie, Lavi Bookman Jr., Miranda Lotto, Arystar Krory III, and the rest of the Generals, the Third Exorcists, Crow, and also finally some finders. They proceeded down the same hall at two arm's length away from one another. The pair deemed the situation serious, so they focused on the matter beforehand. Soon enough after the meeting and the briefing of everything mandatory, they were all assigned missions and their respected partners:

Allen going with of course Howard Link, a third exorcist and possibly a finder.

And Lenalee going with General Klaud Nine, a third exorcist companion of her own, and recent member of the Order, Timothy Hearst.

They were finally able to properly go their separate ways once more, finally.

And everything was supposed to go as expected.

* * *

_The End..._

* * *

**A/N:** **Thank you for reading.**

**The ending wasn't supposed to be a cliffhanger, so you can't exactly complain that I left you in the dark. I don't recall which country specifically the two were in on their missions, but I do know who they went with and how it went down, particularly Allen's. That should be good enough information for you guys I hope since they usually don't go out on missions with those people, well more so Lenalee. Allen's little stalker will always be with him, even when he runs away from the Order.**


End file.
